Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

What are the most meaningful Jewish jokes that reveal insights about Jewish culture?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I see through liars

Are there any Hollywood celebrities who never divorced? Why does it seem like celebrities are likely to get divorced frequently?

I understand how hurricane paths work

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Why do you allow your cat to lie in bed with you?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I can read

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Do you think your landlord should have a key to your room?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

New Ubisoft Game Shutting Down Permanently in 48 Hours - ComicBook.com

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Scientists discover a 33-foot Jurassic giant, twice as big as its cousin - Earth.com

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have a reading level above third grade

If atheists are so positive that there is no God, where is their proof that He does not exist?

I actually pay taxes

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

What is one thing you've learned from life?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Have you ever been instructed/forced to crossdress for the benefit of others?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

How do I come out as queer to my best friend in a funny and stupid way?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Capivasertib given to breast cancer patients in Wales for first time - BBC

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Why do most people care so much about what others think? Are they afraid of society norms?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Investigative Reporters Sound the Alarm at Peabody Awards - Variety

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t buy bullshit

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I can count

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity